Guilty Conscience
by JustifyingEvil
Summary: Dick's thoughts on what happened while under the influence Catwoman's Cataphrenic which leads to him seeking comfort from Bruce


This fanfiction is based off of Season 2 episodes 40 and 41,

That Darn Catwoman and Scat! Darn Catwoman

Dick lay awake in his bed, mind running wild after what had happened in the last few days. He was still struggling to come to terms with it all. If it wasn't for Batman and his outstanding brain, he and possibly Batman would have been under Catwoman's spell for the rest of their lives. Dick sighed heavily and shook his head not wanting to think about it anymore but it was no use. He turned to his side and turned on the lamp, illuminating the clock that read 1:25am. Dick let out a frustrated grumble, all he wanted to do was sleep but his mind kept turning the cogs, coming up with stupid questions and answers.

Why didn't Batman fight back? Probably because he didn't want to hurt Robin but Dick was kind of angry that Batman hadn't done something to stop him. He was also angry that he had hurt Chief O'Hara and said such mean things. He could have ended up being the one who killed Batman, the thought made him shiver from head to toe.

Ok, he was under the influence of Cataphrenic so he had no control but what if he could have fought off the drug, was that possible? He would never know cause he never tried. Batman had proven before that he could fight off the effects of certain drugs. This made Dick feel weak and useless.

Why wasn't Batman/Bruce mad at him? Dick was mad at himself, that's for sure. Come to think of it, Bruce had been a bit quiet since the end of the whole ordeal. That could be because of the death of Catwoman or because he was in fact angry at Dick. He let out a whimper and his lip trembled. Deep down he knew he should get punished, he wanted to after all he did.

He sat up in bed and looked around into the darkness of the room, only his bedside was lit by the lamp. Dick felt so alone in his big bedroom all by himself, only his wicked thoughts to keep him company. He let out another whimper and realised he had tears forming in his eyes. He scolded himself for crying, he had no right. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve but more tears came and were released to slowly role down his cheeks.

Bruce's voice popped into his head. Dick remembered Bruce telling him that if he ever couldn't sleep or had a nightmare, that he could come wake him up and that his door was always open for the youngster. Dick hesitated for a minute. If Bruce as indeed mad at him, waking him up would make it worse but if wasn't mad and found out that Dick had been upset, he would not be happy that he hadn't come over to his room. Before he knew what he was doing, Dick got out of bed and headed for the door. He opened the door as quietly as he could and peered out into the semi lit hallway. The moon shone through the windows giving him enough light to see where he was going. Bruce's room was only down the hall. Dick cautiously made his way to the other end of the hall, stopping at Bruce's bedroom door. He raised his hand ready to knock but hesitated again, almost frozen in fear of what could happen if he did knock. He knocked twice, loud enough for the occupant of the room to hear but not too loud. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside, trembling and trying not to make any noise.

Bruce had never been a heavy sleeper. He was peacefully enjoying his slumber when two knocks at his bedroom door stirred him awake. He blinked his eyes a few times to wake himself up as his door opened and closed without making much sound. Bruce shifted his position so he could lean over to turn his lamp on. He looked over at whoever had just entered the room, knowing too well that it was Dick since Alfred or Aunt Harriet would have said something by now.

"Hey, Dick. Everything alright" Bruce said with a yawn.

Dick remained silent, scared that his voice would crack if he spoke. He had tried his best to keep his tears at bay but he couldn't hold them in anymore. He let out a wail and a sob, collapsing to his knees and hiding his face with his hands. Bruce sprung out of bed and ran over to Dick in deep concern. He put his arm around Dick's shaking form.

"Dickie? Hey, it's ok." Bruce whispered worryingly.

Dick removed his hands from his face and wrapped them around Bruce, who gladly cradled the boy in his strong arms. The next few minutes were spent with Bruce rocking back and forth, hushing Dick and letting the poor boy cry. Dick's cried slowly subsided and he looked up to see Bruce's blue eyes filled with worry. Bruce's hoisted the boy up and placed him down on the bed. Bruce also sat down next to Dick.

"What's got you so upset, Dickie?" Bruce softly questioned.

Dick shook his head not wanting to make Bruce angry.

"Please Dick. Something has made you terribly upset and I want to know" Bruce tried again.

Dick took a deep shaky breath "I'm just so angry at myself for what happened with Catwoman. I hate myself for everything I did from stealing all that money to hurting you and the Chief. I could have killed you!"

Bruce now understood. He should have known Dick would be hard on himself after what happened and he didn't notice. He mentally kicked himself for not making sure that Dick was ok mentally after it all. "Oh Dick. Don't go beating yourself up over it. What Catwoman did was outrageous and made me very mad and scared for you. I was scared that I had lost you forever to that feline devil."

Dick had mostly ignored what Bruce had said. He was too caught up in his own mind "I'm the worst sidekick ever. You would be better off without me, everyone would. I should just leave or..."

"Richard Grayson, you stop right there" Bruce snapped.

Dick gasped and shut his mouth, tears falling down his cheeks again.

"I would most definitely not be better off without you my chum. I would be utterly lost. No to mention poor Alfred and Aunt Harriet. They would be devastated if anything happened to you. I would find it hard to keep going as Batman without you by my side. I dread the day and wish such day would never come while I am still alive. You hear me Dick?" By now Bruce was on the verge of crying.

Dick was already sobbing buckets. He shifted over to Bruce and cried into his chest. Bruce rubbed his back in an attempt to calm the boy. Eventually, Dick looked up at Bruce.

"I'm sorry" was all Dick could manage to get out.

"No need for you to be sorry. Just promise me one thing" Bruce waited for confirmation from Dick to see if he was listening. Dick nodded and Bruce continued.

"Promise me that if you ever feel like this again for any reason you will talk to me right away no matter what or where"

"Promise. Love you Bruce" Dick said, slowly falling asleep.

Bruce smiled. He went to turn off the lamp and then whispered "I love you to, son"


End file.
